久久久久蜜桃,91调教,久久WWW免费人成人片,久久a久久精品

這是一位雅思寫作考試6.5分的同學(xué)寫的作文，應(yīng)當(dāng)來說，根底不錯(cuò)，寫從句沒有問題。這位同學(xué)的方針是，寫作想上7分。

 

看到TA的這篇discuss類的文章，很明顯，TA很走運(yùn)！由于前次考的必定不是discuss類型的文章。由于這樣的寫法頂多6.0。明顯，TA說前次寫的是利害的標(biāo)題。

 

先看看學(xué)生原文：

​

There is a growing consensus that the administrations as well as some industrial companies have the obligation and capacity to protect and promote our living surroundings. More specifically,most economic achievements have been obtained at the cost of the environmental pollution and the scarcity of resources of local areas. Besides, the governments are blessed with sound budget and legal system so that the detailed arrangement cannot be a bother. And this position claims that international cooperation is significantly important to this situation and only by joint effort can pool enough investment and labor force.

 

However, it is contended by some critics that, to some extent, personal actions are superior to other efforts in dealing with this disturbing problem. In details, the whole perfect plan may turn out to be an empty sheet if the residents do not obey the orders and even keep worsening the environment. So this argument goes on that, it is the individuals’ actions, indeed, that put all theories into practice. So under this circumstance, person should and must play an irreplaceable role in this issue.

 

詳細(xì)問題如下：

 

1，典型的傳話筒文章。中心兩段沒有自個(gè)的情緒。換句話說，盡管考官寫的文章在中心段客觀，可是也能看出自個(gè)對(duì)雙方的情緒。而這位同學(xué)寫的徹底看不出來。

2，中心段拓寬方法不對(duì)。沒有將一個(gè)觀點(diǎn)徹底打開，并且用了more specifically, in details這些車轱轆話。

3，套句明顯：this position claims, so this argument goes on。

4，邏輯方面的連接欠好。對(duì)于邏輯方面，我的詳細(xì)點(diǎn)評(píng)如下：

 

比方，There is a growing consensus that the administrations as well as some industrial companies have the obligation and capacity to protect and promote our living surroundings（觀點(diǎn)：公司和政府有職責(zé)保護(hù)環(huán)境）. More specifically,most economic achievements have been obtained at the cost of the environmental pollution and the scarcity of resources of local areas.（詳細(xì)地說，他們經(jīng)濟(jì)方面的成功是以環(huán)境為價(jià)值。）Besides，。。。。。。。。。（依照前面兩句所說，那么第三句話就應(yīng)當(dāng)是：因而公司不能為了經(jīng)濟(jì)利益而損壞環(huán)境。相反，他們應(yīng)當(dāng).....）可是，從besides開端TA又從頭引入了一個(gè)新的觀點(diǎn)。給人感受就是一個(gè)都沒說清楚，又弄另一個(gè)去了。

以上信息由四川外國語大學(xué)外語培訓(xùn)中心整理，更多信息請(qǐng)?jiān)L問四川外國語大學(xué)重慶雅思培訓(xùn)頻道：http:///yasi/